Welcome once again to the reason that the Internet was invented, The Week That Was! Just to let you know, comments are currently messed up. For some reason, they won’t delete or approve! Boo! Don’t think I’m ignoring your love for me though. Like a teenage girl on YouTube, it validates my existence.
Let’s begin!
This week, the US Senate announced a timetable and budget for withdrawing US forces from Iraq. When presented with the plan, President Bush said “NO, STOP, YOU GUYS! SERIOUSLY, YOU ARE RUINING THIS FOR ME!â€
Mothers who eat a lot of beef while pregnant run the risk of their sons having a low sperm count. It’s a sad irony, as one of the side effects of mothers eating beef treated with bovine growth hormone is their sons having a HUGE COCK.
White House Spokesman Tony Snow told the press that the cancer he fought off in 2003 has returned. Despite this setback, John Edwards announced that he will still run for office in 2008.
Many teens today are breaking up with each other through their MySpace comments, a study shows. The process has created a new nickname for today’s teens: The Gayest Generation.
An investigation by the US Army into the death of former Arizona Cardinal-turned-soldier Pat Tillman reported that high-ranking officials made critical errors in reporting the death, and delievered an apology to Tillman’s family. After the apology was announced, his mother said “Great. Does this mean I get my son back now?â€
The US post office unveiled stamps commemorating the 30th anniversary of Star Wars, finally giving stamp nerds and Star Wars nerds something to talk about at the lunch table.
Microsoft released a software fix for their mp3 player, the Zune. The update, when loaded, fixes the player by turning it into an iPod.
The Internet was abuzz with video of Karl Rove dancing onstage at the White House’s Radio & Television Correspondents Dinner, as seen here:
The video astonished viewers, as it was the closest a black man has ever been to Karl Rove without trying to kill him.
Afterwards, Rove was confused about the black man’s presence, and was overheard asking “When did they start letting the hired help on stage?”
AND FINALLY…
The autopsy results for the body of Anna Nicole Smith were revealed on Monday, thus ending the longest amount of time that people have ever cared about Anna Nicole Smith.
