My improv group Thank You, Robot is celebrating our 3rd anniversary as a team this week here:

Each day this week I will be talking about a different member of the group, and why I love them as performers. Today: Seth Lind.

I want you to think of something really strange and funny to say. Something off-the-wall. Got it? It’s still not as clever or creative as whatever Seth will come up with the next time he opens his mouth.

Seth once spent a month doing undercover work in the 1930s as a zoot suit salesman to make his olde-tymey characters more believable.

Seth loves introducing high concepts to the stage, but he doesn’t just abandon them. Most people want to drop some type of clever bomb on their scene partners and the audience, then panic and back off, leaving everyone with a limp scene about the aftermath of a cool thing that happened. Seth knows how to not only knock you back with the way his mind works, but also is fully capable of pulling you in to the world he created. He once made me a sorority girl, and himself a dragon, and made me give him a blowjob on stage. Not only did it work and make sense, but it was hilarious.

I get both excited and intimidated to be on stage with him, because I literally never know what’s going to come out of his mouth next. He often starts his characters with some type of physicality, and if his shoulders hunch, or he shifts his body weight down slightly before he opens his mouth, prepare yourself to see and hear something you have never seen or heard before. Seriously, his physicality is awesome. Dude finds ways to make standing still look interesting. He may be my favorite member of the team to sit back and watch from the back line, because I am always surprised, and always laughing when he is performing.

Regardless of how offbeat his characters can be, they’re always honest. He’s versatile, too. He is perfectly capable of playing an incredible straight man, reacting in real and honest ways to whatever bullshit you (meaning ME) might spew out. He isn’t odd for odd’s sake; in fact, there is always a logic to how he is behaving in scenes. That’s what pulls you in, and it’s what makes you want to see more.

If I had to sum him up in three words, they’d be: madgenius (yes, one word), honest, hilarious.

If I had to describe Seth in three songs, they would be these (right click to save):
The Dirtbombs – Chains of Love
Against Me! – Up The Cuts
The Avett Brothers – Kick Drum Heart

My improv group Thank You, Robot is celebrating our 3rd anniversary as a team this week here:

Each day this week I will be talking about a different member of the group, and why I love them as performers. Today: Chris Scott.

I have been very lucky.

For all the bitching and whining I do about my life, I do understand the areas in which I have been actually hit with the luck stick and been allowed to be a part of something special. One of those places has been improv. About 3 and a half years ago I met some of the best performers I’ve ever had the privilege of taking the stage with. To have been lucky enough to be swept up in their madness and allowed to be a member of what became Thank You, Robot was one of the best gifts I’ve ever been given. These guys have been some of my closest friends in comedy. We’ve all pushed each other, and helped each other grow, made each other more confident as performers, and more daring as an ensemble. A lot of people that try to do comedy either go at it alone or fall in with petty people who have NO ONE’s best interests at heart. I’m proud to say that neither has ever been the case with this group, especially not Chris Scott.

Chris, serving up gifts even when he’s NOT on stage.

Chris has an amazing energy on stage, like a spring constantly extending and recoiling. He is capable of creating reserved, thoughtful characters that have the type of insight you THINK you have until you actually try to play like him and realize you don’t. On the flipside, he can also be a bounding ball of energy, screaming and hollering and exploding with emotion. My favorite characters to see him play are pompous assholes that are so confident in their meager skillset that you sit on the edge of your seat waiting for their world to fall apart around them. I believe Will Farrell and Adam McKay call that character type the “mediocre man.”

None of this means anything, though, if it doesn’t make SENSE, and that’s something that Chris makes happen when he steps out. He sees the stage like he’s not on it, knowing what needs to be clarified, and what needs to be blown out. Then, he serves up the simplest moves that not only make the scene make sense to YOU as a performer on stage, but to the audience as well. Kids, if you ever want to perform with someone that will make YOU look like a genius on stage, call Chris.

The only time I’m ever uncomfortable onstage is when I’m performing with people who hesitate, and that is something that Chris has NEVER done. He is balls out, unafraid, and revels in whatever is taking place at the moment. He shares the POV that I do – if you’re gonna do something onstage, SELL IT. This thinking has actually found us making out for reals on stage in more than one show (you’re welcome, ladies). It has also, however, found him doing scenes where he is unafraid to break down emotionally, to actually be a vulnerable character, which most people have trouble doing because you have to make yourself a lot more open than most are comfortable with.

If I had to sum him up in three words, they’d be: fearless, committed, and honest.

If I had to sum him up in three songs, they’d be these ones (right click to save):
Fang Island – Daisy
Alphabeat – Fascination
Los Campesinos – This Is How You Spell “HAHAHA, We Destroyed The Hopes And Dreams Of A Generation Of Faux-Romantics”

Visit Chris on the web:
twangofthevoid.blogspot.com
chrisreblogs.tumblr.com
obamarama.tumblr.com

Working on new layouts, widgets, wazoozles, whathaveyous…

Hi.

First off, I will finish the story about doing comedy that I started last May. For someone who seems to have no problem getting on stage and whooping like a fool in a rainstorm (in some alternate reality, that was a famous olde tymey saying), I get self-conscious about indulging my own work in that manner. But I will finish what I started!

So! 2010. It’s not even 60 days old and it’s already a better year than last. To say 2009 was the worst year of my life is a disservice to understatement. The understater making that remark would be fired for not working up to his own potential.

While I am a comedian, writer, etc, I still have to hold down a day job to help keep a roof over 3 heads – mine, my ladyfriend’s, and Henry Madison, the intense humping rabbit. However, I lost my job last year the DAY before I went on my first real vacation since becoming an adult (I took the online course to do that; got my certificate in 2005). I never realized how much stress and depression not bringing in money can put on a person. I spent 9 plus months of 2009 sitting on my couch without a job. It hurt A LOT. People trying to get in to the entertainment industry often times have to take jobs they don’t want to support themselves, and it’s tough to deal with the notion that jobs that you don’t want actually don’t want YOU.

Continuing my new weekly sketch series. Two-for-one this week, as I missed last week’s deadline (see #2 for explanation).

Sex And The City Action Figures

I seem to really enjoy writing commercial parodies. Expect to see a lot of them, I guess. Anyhow, this was a concept I had in a sketch class last year; an 80s-style commercial for an action figure tie-in for an unlikely action figure line. I always loved how these types of commercials were loosely related to the films upon which they were based, and showcased three different versions of the same figure. I also like bad puns, and SatC is a perfect outlet for those types of jokes.

Sex And The City Action Figures

Continuing a new feature, where every week I post a new sketch. Whatever form it is in, it goes up. Even though this one is a week late. Enjoy.

Price Is Right Showcase Showdown

This should have gone up last week, but I had a bit of a moral dilemma. Normally, I don’t have a problem attacking any issue, but the critical incident in this sketch hit a little close to home (a family member has lost a baby in the past few years). I decided to run it, mostly because it makes me uncomfortable, and I like facing things that make me that way. Basically, I was watching PiR one day, seeing people celebrate their Showcases, and tried to think of the worst thing that could happen to someone in that situation. Upon re-reading the sketch, I’m not 100% happy with how it turned out. I’m also wondering if I went after the wrong target here. Regardless, these things (and more) you can decide for yourself, if the price is right.

Price Is Right Showcase Showdown

*This is continuing a series of me looking back at how I got to be where I am, what I went through, and where I’m going. It’s terribly navel-gazing, so feel free to skip if it doesn’t interest you.*

By early 2004, I had completely immersed myself in the “adult experience,” as I like to call it. By that I mean “I realized that sometimes the things you want to do seem impossible to achieve, so let’s get drunk and be aimless.” I never had a HUGE problem with where I grew up. Suburban western Pennsylvania was pretty devoid of culture, and that forced my friends and I to go out and find it. We would go on journey’s around the tri-state area to find rare movies, see shows, and meet different people. It felt like a safe place to come back to during summers in college. We had a nice house, I had some money in my pocket, and all seemed well because I had friends around me.

The problem with coming back home after college, I quickly realized, is that I was one of very few people that did so. So many of my friends had moved on to different parts of the country, my mom had downgraded to an apartment (from other issues), and now here I was, still at the same job I had in college. The glaring boringness of my area was brought into pretty clear view, and I hated it. My fun came from my friends, not home, and now I didn’t know where I was.

Then I saw an ad in the paper for a theater group looking for people to do improv, and I jumped in.

So, something new. Every Friday, I will post a new sketch on here. Whatever shape it is in. If it’s a first draft, polished, not finished, whatever. (IN THE FUTURE) They will be downloadable PDFs so you may view and read on your own time, if you so choose. You can say whatever you want about my writing, because I am not afraid and I will beat your ass.
***Special recognition to Yo La Tengo for making the most awesome name for a thing ever, which I have cribbed for use in this series. I just wish I liked your music, guys.***

Wing Poncho
Concept by: Danielle McNamara

I was explaining an idea I had to the lady for a commercial that was a just a guy sloppily eating hot wings, then freeze framing, with a text overlay that said “Hot wings. Pretty awesome, right? Brought to you by the American Association of Hot Wing Farmers.” She then came up with the idea of the wing poncho, and what it should look like. I laughed like a fool, and wrote it up. So here it is.

Due to my free scriptwriting software fucking out on me, and my PDF software doing the same, this first’un is going to be a copy and past job below. Sloppy, yes, but at this point I’d rather this be sloppy than nonexistent.

****************

WING PONCHO

NOTE:
The tone of this entire sketch should be that of an infomercial commercial, much like those horrible pasta strainer things, or the pocket voice reminder doohickey.

MED SHOT on a man with a plate of sloppy, messy hot wings in front of him.

VO
Has this ever happened to you? Sure, hot wings are the best, but what about the mess?

CUT TO:
CU of MAN trying to put wing in mouth, but completely missing, hitting his cheek, and smearing it up his face, past his eye.

VO
And if you have an itch, it’s a real bitch!

CUT TO:
CU of eye, and man goes to scratch an itch on his eye with chicken wing. It stings, obviously, and he drops the wing and HOWLS in pain.

CUT TO: MAN with bedsheet tied around neck like a bib.

VO
Bedsheets will do but you sleep on them too!

SPINNING CUT TO: MAN in bed, sheets covered in hot sauce, MAN looking at sticky fingers then exasperated face to camera.

CUT TO: MAN with hot wings on plate in front of him, with a gun to his own head, miserable, about to commit suicide.

VO
It makes you wonder how to even enjoy a hot wing.

A wing poncho magically appears on the table in front of MAN. He looks happily at it.

VO (cntd)
Now, there’s the Wing Poncho!

CUT TO: MED SHOT of MAN sitting in front of plate of hot wings, in something akin to a hazmat suit. There is only a thin opening for the mouth on the face, not even an eye slot. He is eating hot wings, with the sauce getting all over the suit.

VO
Unlike napkins, or manners, that only keep SOME of the sauce away from you, the wing poncho keeps you 100% dry…

SLIDE CUT TO: MAN standing up from table, tearing off wing poncho. He is wearing a tuxedo underneath. He turns as the camera pulls back, and a bride and pastor step in to frame, as they prepare to get married.
VO (cntd)
and ready for that wedding!

CUT TO: GFX of a wing with animated hashmark arrows pointing from the wing to the suit surface, and bouncing away.

VO
The secret is the suit’s space age polymers that keep the sauce out, and the flavor in!

Continue GFX onscreen, as the following message flashes onscreen:

WARNING: WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR CONSEQUENCE OF DIVULGENCE OF WING PONCHO SECRET

CUT TO: CU MAN trying to put wing in his own eye.

VO
And the lack of eye opening ensures no more stinging eyes!

CUT TO: MAN and WOMAN at a table with a plate of hot wings. She looks sad, until he produces a wing poncho with a bow on it. She smiles happily.

VO
The Wing Poncho makes a great gift…

CUT TO: A dog in the wing poncho, struggling to get out as someone tries to hand it a hot wing. The VO is trying to continue until the dog finally gets out and runs away or eats the wing.

VO
And it’s…it’s…and it’s gr….it’s grea…and…And it’s great for pets too!

CUT TO: A Wing Poncho sitting folded on a table.

VO
The Wing Poncho retails for $39.95, but wait! If you order in the next 10 minutes, we’ll send you an ADDITIONAL…

An unnatural voice interjects, as if this was a late edit

VO #2
Five.

Regular VO returns

VO
Wing Ponchos for the incredible price of $19.95! Here’s how to order…

CUT TO: Information card

VO #3
To order your Wing Poncho, just have your credit card ready and call the number you see here. Offer not available in Buffalo.

LA Times article discussing late night freelancers is out. I’m in it a lil’ bit.

Dig it.

Eek! The Cat.

I loved this show.

Here is what’s probably my favorite episode, Eekstremely Dull. This introduced the boring squirrel family in the tree next door. If I ever meet people named Susan, the monotonous squirrel family roll call is what instantly rolls through my brain.

“Allie. Acorn. Steven Jr. Gunter. And my wife, Soooooosan.”

“Eek, I was wondering if you would like to join me and my family for a pretzel.”

This holds up.