I’ve gotten a lot of emails from people asking me how to get in to late night talk show joke writing. While I have had the lucky fortune to do it, I have to let you know that I can’t actually get YOU a job doing it. I apologize if that seems shitty, but that is just the way it is (I’ll explain why below). The only thing I can do is tell you how I did it (because that’s the only way I know HOW you wind up doing it), and hope that helps you.

I knew I wanted to make my way in to late night joke writing, but didn’t know how. In the meantime, I prepped myself to be ready if the opportunity arose. I started a feature on my blog called The Week That Was. Each week, I would write 7-10 jokes based on that week’s news cycle. I studied the late night shows, and learned how to structure a joke in that manner. That was a lesson someone taught me long ago – this business takes a lot of luck to get ahead, but you have to work hard so that when an opportunity comes to you, you’re ready. (Oh God, that sounds pretentious. Sorry.)

In 2007, I got a job paging at The Late Show with David Letterman. A friend who was already there passed along my resume, and after a couple interviews, I got the job. I started on January 2, and in March, worked up the courage to introduce, and pitch, myself to the head monologue writer. He was incredibly kind and gracious, and told me to keep in touch, as there wasn’t any room on the freelancer’s list. After a few months, he let me know there was an opening, and that I should send in a sheet of current event jokes for the monologue. He approved them, and I started the day after. Three weeks later, I got my first joke on the air. It was thrilling.

I kept up with the monologue for the next year. During that time, a friend of mine that was also a page at Letterman left to work at Saturday Night Live. She was also an incredibly gracious person, and put me in touch with the head of Weekend Update. Same situation: email, sheet of jokes, I started the next week.

Look, I know you want to do it, and i wish you nothing but the best of luck. You’re probably awesome, or on your way to being awesome. Here’s why I can’t get you a job:

1) I don’t know you. This entire industry is built around getting to know people, so those people can represent you to the people that make the decisions for the things you want to do. Even if you’re great, I know 30 amazing comedians that I am friends with, and if I’m in a position to help someone, I’ll probably help my friends. I hope that if you find yourself in my position, you’d help your friends too. That’s the beauty of this business, that you can actually help your friends get ahead.

2) I don’t even have a job writing for late night anymore. I never got a joke on Weekend Update. Frustrating, but it happens. I was let go at the beginning of the 2009-2010 season. At the same time, Late Show cut their entire freelance staff. I’m back on the outside once again, trying to find a way in, just like you.

I hope this helps you in some capacity. It’s going to help you to start doing it on your own so you have material on hand to prove you know how to do it before you even get the opportunity. It’s also going to help to move to either New York or Los Angeles and find a way to get close to the shows. I KNOW that sucks to hear, but again, that’s my advice because that’s how I did it.

Now go forth, and create great work!